One is the lonliest number.

Okay, I'll be the first to admit it: I'm a recluse. There really is no point in denying it... it's painfully obvious. Here I am, 21 years old and I have no close friends. Well, that's not true. I have close friends. I just don't have any close friends I particularly want to be around.

My main past time these days are watching HGTV, doing laundry, and drinking Champagne. It's beginning to look like I am on my path to Grey Gardens. To be honest, though, I would much rather be alone by choice than to be around people because I tried so hard to make plans with people; that just makes me feel pathetic. So, instead, I shall revel in the knowledge that I am exactly where I put myself. Desperately calling and texting my "friends" trying to get someone to hang out with me is just bad for my self esteem.

So yeah, I may seem pathetic and whatever, but at least I'm calling the shots.

Typical girl.

Today I went grocery shopping. Whilst at the grocery store, I bought some new face wash, mascara, eyeliner, tampons, and deodorant. I purchased one of those new deodorants where they have the pretty scents that are supposed to be all fancy; I was curious.

So, I come upstairs and am unpacking my haul and I open up the deodorant to smell it and immediately freeze... It smells like my ex boyfriend. "Sexy Intrigue". What are the odds? It kind of saddened me. Alas, I shall overcome. Whoever decided it was easier to be the heart breaker as opposed to the heart broken was full of shit.

Goodnight.

ill.

SIX RANDOM THINGS YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ME:
1) I have a horrible back.
2) I can tie a cherry stem in a knot, with my tongue.
3) I did theater, in high school.
4) I sleep diagonally across my bed.
5) I tend to stack things.
6) I can read a 1500+ page book in less than two days.

TOTALLY ADDICTED TO:
1) Caffeine
2) Chap stick
3) Tennis shoes
4) Crime shows
5) HGTV. I love to organize and decorate.
6) Fashion blogs

DISLIKING:
1) Tomatoes
2) Obnoxious behavior
3) When people blame others for their own unhappiness.
4) Constant complaining
5) Luke warm beverages
6) judgmental people

I don't have a title.

Today I went to the movies with my dearest of dears, Heather. Afterward, we went to eat at Red Robin. Delish. We discussed how she met her husband and how she knew he was the one and that they were engaged six months after they began dating. Half my friends have found that person they intend to live out the rest of their days with.

Sometimes, I think I'm emotionally handicap; someone should throw me a telethon.






I've still been working on my room. Definite progress, however, it is still far from where I would like it. I am so sick of the blue walls. I don't know what gave me the impression I would a colorful person... Back to work.

The other side of sunrise.

I decided to take a walk around the grounds today, around sunrise. I took pictures. Sometimes life gets to busy or tedious or distracting or what have you that sometimes you really do forget to stop and smell the roses. I don't partake in the beauty of my surroundings nearly as often as I should. Well, I aim to remedy that. I took pictures of the yards and even caught up with the guard whilst at his post over looking the side entrance.












That's my dog, Elvis. He is unwavering when it comes to his duties. He always perches himself atop the couch and watches the perimeter. Dedicated to his due diligence.

I guess I'll go to sleep before I continue my project. I've made a little bit of progress.

Bread crumbs.

I'm still cleaning my room. To be more accurate, I am procrastinating on the computer to avoid cleaning even though I want to be. Sometimes I get so lost in my own logic that On-Star couldn't find me. That's where this survey comes in... I was bull shitting online and this is what I have to show for myself.

All of these questions are pretty lame; however, in case someone somewhere cares, I would hate to deprive you of the opportunity to educate yourself on the inner workings of me. So, go ahead... go crazy.


1. Thing you cannot leave the house without?
I'm going to say my bag because that encompasses all of the necessities: keys, sunglasses, identification, and on occasion, a sealed bottle of liquor.
2. Favorite brand of makeup?
M.A.C. That makes up about 96% of my collection.
3. Favorite flower?
Roses.
4. Favorite clothing store?
Urban Outfitters and various thrift stores.
5. Favorite perfume?
Chanel.
6. Heels or flats?
Flats. Almost always. Sneakers, in particular.
7. Do you make good grades?
Yes, I do.
8. Favorite colors?
Since technically black is the absence of color, I am going to say gray. I also like purple and green.
9. Do you drink energy drinks?
When the opportunity presents itself, I take advantage. With certain alcohol, I think it might be required.
10. Do you drink juice?
On occasion. Only grape, cranberry, and pomegranate.
11. Do you like swimming?
No, not really.
12. Do you eat fries with a fork?
If they have toppings.
13. Favorite moisturizer?
I have moist skin; I don't really need moisturizer.
14. Do you want to get married later on in life?
Maybe. It depends.
15. Do you get mad easily?
I used to. As I've gotten older, I've become more mellow.
16. Are you into ghost hunting?
I love haunted places. I want to go to the top ten most haunted places.
17. Any phobias?
I actually have a small notebook that I keep track of them in. Three of the top ones are: being lost in space, spiders, and being hit by a cab.
18. Do you bite your nails?
Not really.
19. Have you ever had a near death experience?
Only if I leave the house.
20. Do you drink coffee?
Every chance I get.

New beginnings.

I’m purging. Not in the sense that I am expelling the contents of my stomach; I am overhauling my dwelling. I think it’s time. My room has been basically the same since I was about sixteen or seventeen. I heard somewhere that every five years you become a new person, thus, it is time for renovations.

The three biggest hurdles I must deal with are 1.) the sheer mass of my bed, 2.) my ridiculous amount of laundry, and 3.) all of my furniture is so heavy… I have a feeling I might get hurt. For those reasons, I am procrastinating. I even went so far as to create this blog. My reason for making it is not completely clear yet – even to me. If I had to give a reason, I would probably say that I am on some sort of journey towards self-discovery. It sounds cliché, I know, however, it’s true.

My 21st birthday is fast approaching and I finally feel older than I remember being. Does that make sense? I think that I might be finding my own kind of style or voice or something. At least I hope that I am.

I’ve been purging a lot, lately. I deleted my MySpace, then I deleted my other blog (it was really whiney and riddled with talk of my ex-boyfriend and I want to separate myself from that), and sometime tomorrow, I intent to delete my Facebook. I realize that I will probably eventually make a new one but for right now, I want to separate myself from that culture; the culture of checking people’s status updates to know what’s going on with them as opposed to just talking to them. I want people to know what’s happening in my life because they talked to me. I miss actual human interaction. This blog is more for my own benefit. I want to chronicle this strange disorganized and poorly planned journey of mine. I want this to be about me and how I am living and growing, not about whining and other people.

Well, I guess I should get back to cleaning. Once I make noticeable progress, I’ll photograph it and post. That’s another thing I want to start doing: taking pictures. Not anything impressive or professional; I just want to have actual things to look back on… visual memories. Look forward to them.

Final thought: What I find amusing and stupid is that there is no one reading this. Not a soul, apart from my own. However, I still write as if someone were reading it. Habit, I guess.